Forgettable Tale... Quest

By: Seiferoth

Start Point: Speak to Commander Veldaban in The Black Guard HQ of Keldagrim
Requirements: Level 17 Farming and Level 22 Cooking.
Quest Requirements: Must have completed The Giant Dwarf and Fishing Contest Quests
Items Required: 3 Beers, 200-1000 Coins, 2 Buckets of Water, 2 Barley Malt(Barley roasted on a Range), Spade, Seed Dibber, Rake, Kebab, Pot

Note: Now that you have completed The Giant Dwarf Quest, you can purchase a ticket to ride the Cart under the White Wolf Mountain Pass to ride to Keldagrim quicker than usual.

Speak to Commander Veldaban in the Black Guard Headquarters in Western Keldagrim. He'll ask you to investigate the Red Axe's disappearance and to question the Drunken Dwarf in Eastern Keldagrim for possible information.
(You will now watch a short cutscene and at the end of it be placed in front of the Drunken Dwarf's home in Eastern Keldagrim.)

Speak to Drunken Dwarf, he'll ask you for beer before he tells you anything about the Red Axe.
Buy a beer for 2 Coins at the Laughing Miner Pub south of the Drunken Dwarf's house or give him the one if you have it on you.
He'll complain that the beer you give him isn't "The Good Stuff" and he'll give you a Kelda seed and instruct you to get 3 more from his drinking buddies.

Rowdy Dwarf
The Rowdy Dwarf can be found walking around the Laughing Miner Pub in Eastern Keldagrim.
Talk to the Rowdy Dwarf and he'll ask you for a very odd item(It varies from person to person). The items he asks for are quite easy to get, but are very odd items to say the least. Here is a list of some of the items he might ask for, if you are asked an item not on this list, it shouldn't be hard to find but please report it in the RW Submit, Suggest, and Report Section of the RuneWeb Forums:

Note: If you get a very annoying item to retrieve, you can log out, log back in and talk to the Dwarf for a new item.

Pink Skirt: Spawns in a house Near Varrock Eastern Bank, but can also be purchased from the Varrock Clothing Shop.
'Spot' Potion:: Speak to Apothecary and ask him for a good potion for free, He'll give you a "Potion" which is a Spot Potion if you examine it. These Spot Potions are also dropped by Imps.
Spicy Worm: Spicy Worms are King Worms that have Gnome Spice sprinkled on them. You can purchase Gnome Spice in the Grand Tree. You can find King Worm Spawns in the Swamp in the Northwestern area of the Gnomestronghold. Alternatively, if you have level 75 Thieving you can pickpocket Gnomes until a King Worm is your loot.
White Apron: Can be purchased in the Varrock Clothing Shop.
Burnt Chicken: Kill a chicken. Then burn a raw chicken or cook a cooked chicken to overcook it and thus get a Burnt Chicken.
Eye Patch: Kill Pirates or Purchase it from the Varrock Fancy Clothes Store in Eastern Varrock
Bat Bones: Kill a Bat to obtain Bat Bones.
Flier: Flier to Bob's Axes, Dropped by Barbarians and Imps
Amulet Mould: Purchased in Al Kharid or Rimmington Crafting Stores
Swamp tar: Found in Lumbridge Swamp
Steel Darts: Smith after completing Tourist Trap.
Banana: Player grown or retrieved from Banana Trees on Karamja.
Ashes: Obtained by lighting a log and wait until the fire burns out.

After you get the item, he will give you a Kelda Seed.

Guass can be found inside the King's Axe Inn in Western Keldagrim south of the Bank.
You will need a Glass of beer, then speak to him and he'll ask you to have a toast with with him.
After you have a toast with him, he will give you a Kelda Seed.

Khorvac, a dwarven engineer
Khorvac can be found under the White Wolf Mountain Pass. You can get there by speaking to a Cart Conductor in Eastern Keldagrim and purchasing a ticket. Then riding the Mining Carts on the 4th track(The southern most one from the main four tracks).
Speak to Khorvac, and when the option comes up trick him and tell him you will borrow the seed(even though you can't get it back). Since he's really drunk, he'll give you the seed. Alternatively, pick up a Dwarven Stout off a table and speak to him. Then offer him the Dwarven Stout for the seed.

Now that you have the four seeds, you must plant them in Keldagrim.

Speak to Rind the Gardener in Western Keldagrim to get permission to use the Hops Patch in Keldagrim. He'll also inform you of a Rake Spawn in a house to the south.

Rake the Hops Patch, then plant the Kelda Seeds(You will need a Seed Dibber for this part) and wait for them to grow, These will take approximately 10-20 minutes to grow. After the Kelda Hops are done you must Harvest them(with a spade).

Now Head to the Laughing Miner Pub with two Buckets of Water, two Barley Malt, an empty pot, and your Kelda Hops.
Go upstairs of the Pub and you will find a Fermenting Vat and a Pot Spawn.
Take a pot from the spawn on the table near the Vat.
Speak to Blandebir and buy Ale Yeast for 25 Coins.

Use the the buckets of water on the Fermenting Vat.
Then use the barley malt on the Fermenting Vat.
Then use the Kelda Hops on the Fermenting Vat.
Finally, use the Ale Yeast on the Fermenting Vat.
Wait 5-15 minutes for the Kelda Stout to ferment.

After it's done fermenting Turn the Valve then use an Empty Beer Glass on the Barrel of Kelda Stout.
If you do not have an empty Beer Glass, go downstairs purchase a beer and drink it.

Head back to the Drunken Dwarf's house and give him the Kelda Stout. He'll mention very valuable information.. but he'll also mention Pink Dragons...

Head to the Southern Track near the Cart Station South of the Tracks to WhiteWolf Mountain
Talk to Cart Conductor and ask him to open up the barricade, He'll inform you he doesn't have the authority but suggests that you could get it opened if you had a friend with authority.

Head to the Consortium and speak to the Director which you worked for in the last quest(For me it was the Silver Cog), ask your Director if he'll open the barricade because it might involve the Red Axe.

Head back to the track south of the main tracks and ride a cart(no need to pay for a ticket to an unknown place).

Search the box near the Dwarven Controls. You will recieve one green square and one yellow square.
The secret of this puzzle is to connect the tracks so that you can move, green will go one way, and the yellow will go the other way.
Clicking a conjunction once will place a green square, clicking again will place a yellow square. If you have no green, a yellow will automatically be put in instead.
The red square in the controls that has a thicker border is where you start, you will always put a square in one of those conjunctions.
The object is to get to the Double Vertical Lines, which are blue. These lead to boxes with more squares in them.
After you've gathered enough squares set the conjunctions to lead to the red x on the controls. This will lead you to the next area.
The following are links to screenshots of the succesful paths in order.
Reference Image One
Reference Image Two
Reference Image Three

In the next area you will see the Red Axe and an Ogre Shaman speaking. After they're done talking sneak past them into the next cave entrance.
You will be sent to another Chasm with another set of Dwarven Controls, Boxes, a Cart, and Tracks.
It should be easier this time, but longer.
The following are links to screenshots of the succesful paths to the second chasm in order.
Reference Image One
Reference Image Two
Reference Image Three

In this area, search all the bookcases and the crates with papers on them to gather as much information as you can. There should only be one useful Bookcase and two useful crates with papers on them in the room.
Afterwards head deeper into the mines east.
You will be sent to the final Chasm with another set of Dwarven Controls, Boxes, a Cart and Tracks.
This time it will be tricky.
Now that you should know how to do it, it is easy, but you do not know your destination. The Blue Double Vertical Lines and the Red X have been removed from these Controls to make it a smidge harder.
The following are links to screenshots of the succesful paths to the final chasm in order.
Reference Image One
Reference Image Two
Reference Image Three

You will then watch a cutscene where you see the Red Axe plans, and they're scheming with Gnomes! They want to create an army of Chaos Dwarves! Here, the Ogre Shaman discovers you hiding... and casts a spell on you and throws you out of the Red Axe Hideout....

After that head back to Commander Veldaban.. You'll want to tell him about the Red Axe... but you'll get a craving for some kebab and beer instead so you need to go eat some in the Laughing Miner Pub.

You can purchase a Kebab from Kjut in Eastern Keldagrim if you don't have one.
You can purchase a Beer from the Barmain in Eastern Keldagrim's "The Laughing Miner" Pub if you don't have one.

Once you have the kebab and beer eat it whilst inside the Laughing Miner Pub and you'll be taken to a hilarious cutscene where you tell a supposedly true story about an army of kebabs.

Quest Complete you Drunken Fool!

Rewards: 2 Quest Points, 5000 Farming Experience, 5000 Cooking Experience, 2 Matured Dwarven Stouts

Dwarven Stout(m): This Dwarven Stout will increase your mining and smithing by two levels instead of the ordinary one level increase.